Please not with him
by ChocolateTeapot
Summary: Despite their protests, the Kazekage decides to put Kankuro, Temari and Gaara in the same team. Oneshot


Disclaimer: The NARUTO series, characters, universe, etc… is copyright to Masashi Kishimoto.

The Yondaime Kazekage paced the floor of his grand living room. He scowled. It was getting dark outside, a storm was brewing. Already sand was being whipped up. It scratched against the window panes, producing a highly irritating sound and probably leaving permanent marks.

But the weather was the least of his problems. His youngest son, Gaara, had gone out earlier and the Kazekage was sure that he would hear of at least one death before the night was out. Knowing that the next arrival would bring bad news, he turned away from the door. He clenched his fists and snarled.

He didn't actually care about the people Gaara killed. What got him was the aftermath. His reputation went down the drain, he had to compensate the families and, if Gaara hadn't completely destroyed the body, finance the funeral.

He heard the door creak open. "I can't do anything for it!" he yelled, "That boy is completely out of control!" He turned around and saw that it was only Temari.

"What has he done now?" she asked.

"Nothing yet."

The Kazekage was relieved, but didn't show it. He sat down in the room's most comfortable armchair. Now he'd have to tackle the next problem.

He looked at Temari and said, "I have something very important to tell you once Kankuro comes home."

"Kankuro should already be home."

"He should?" the Kazekage didn't know and didn't care, "Get him then."

Temari climbed the stairs to her brother's bedroom. She entered without knocking. A moment later she came out again, Kankuro in tow. He was already in pyjamas, but still wore his purple make-up and cat-hat. Once downstairs, they pulled up two chairs so that they faced their father.

The Kazekage folded his arms. He didn't bother to look at his children.

"What the hell is up?" Kankuro demanded, sounding rather pissed off. The Kazekage hated his son's attitude.

Even so he began, "So how do you like it?"

"Like what?" Kankuro whined.

"Being a ninja!" the Kazekage snapped, his patience exhausted years ago. Kankuro turned his head and pouted. Temari nervously looked first at one, then at the other.

To defuse the situation, she answered, "I really like it. It's interesting and my team mates are nice. Some missions are a bit boring. But not being near Gaara more than makes up for that."

"And you, Kankuro?" the Kazekage demanded.

"Yeah, the same as Temari," he paused for a moment, "Particularly the last part."

"Well," the Kazekage leaned back, "That is unfortunate. I am putting you on his team."

"What?" Temari and Kankuro cried in unison.

"He needs a team. And he is more than likely to kill his peers. But you have living with him for more than five years now. So I am gauging your chances of survival as higher than average."

"Higher than average? That's nice!" Kankuro leaped up. "I'll knock all your teeth out!"

"Try," the Kazekage challenged, knowing that his son wasn't nearly strong enough. Kankuro glared and sank down again.

"But Kazekage-sama," Temari said, "Last week, no yesterday, you were deploying assassins to kill Gaara. And now he needs a team?"

"Yes. He kills all the assassins with ease. Suna has lost too many men already. I hope that he will die on a mission. But sending a lone Genin on dangerous missions would give away too much to the other hidden villages."

"That's wonderful," Kankuro growled, "Not only can we enjoy being on Gaara's team, we'll also do stuff way out of our depth!"

The Kazekage inhaled deeply, "I am going to assign an excellent Jonin to your team. His name is Baki, and he will do his best to protect the two of you. But if the price of getting rid of Gaara is your deaths, it is one I am willing to pay."

Kankuro's face was a deeper shade of purple than his make-up. He snapped, "Temari! You heard that! Say something, damn it!"

But Temari remained silent and stared at her feet. The Kazekage's gaze wandered between his children. After a while he raised his hand and said, "You can exchange goodbyes with your teams tomorrow. You are dismissed."

Kankuro didn't need to be told twice. Swearing furiously he stormed up the stairs. Temari followed him slowly, leaving their father alone in the living room.

When Temari woke up the next morning, she convinced herself that it had all been a bad dream. After getting washed and dressed, she went downstairs.

She tiptoed through the living room to reach the kitchen. Opening the door a crack, she peeked inside. Gaara was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. A crushed corpse was sprawled on the tiled floor. "Probably an assassin," Temari thought. She decided to skip breakfast.

Those sights always made her shudder, but by now it was less because of the gore and more the prospect of cleaning up.

She went into the hall, put her sandals on and picked up her fan. One pair of sandals was left. The Kazekage was already at work and Gaara was breaking the rules by wearing them indoors. "So Kankuro is still asleep," Temari muttered to herself.

Intent on driving him out of bed, she went back upstairs. She propped her fan up against the wall and knocked on the door, expecting no response. Instead she heard her brother's muffled groan, "Go away."

"Why? Aren't you feeling well?"

"I'm feeling fine, except that I have to abandon my team, just because my demonic little brother suddenly needs one."

Angry that Kankuro had shattered her illusion, Temari snapped, "Well guess what? I've got to do exactly the same! I wish I'd taken the bloody Chunin exam!"

Kankuro groaned again, but Temari had no patience for him, "Move your lazy ass! If nothing else you should say goodbye!"

"It doesn't matter. Leave me alone."

"Fine! I don't care what you do! I'm leaving!" Temari shouldered her fan and marched out of the front door.

Gaara briefly looked up from his coffee. Even from inside the kitchen he had heard his siblings bicker.

Temari's team met at a park bench in the outskirts of Suna. She was a little early but Aina, her Jonin instructor, was already there.

"Hi, Temari! We'll just be training today."

Temari wasn't listening. She returned the greeting out of habit.

Aina looked at her student. "Are you okay?"

"I suppose so. What kind of person is Baki-sama?"

"The Jonin? Why do you want to know?"

"I'll tell you once the others arrive."

Aina stuffed her hands in her pockets and pulled a face. "I'd rather know now. But it's no state secret so I'll tell you. He's big and wears a cloth over his left eye. He lost it in a squabble with some ninja from Kusagakure. And he's a bit stronger than me. Annoyingly."

Temari shrugged. If Aina said that he was a bit stronger, she actually meant a lot. It was known that she hated being outdone.

The team's other members, Jiro and Daiki, strolled up. Their hands were stuffed in their pockets, they were chatting. After greeting Aina, they plonked themselves on the bench.

"Okay, Temari," Aina said, "Everyone is here, so spill the beans."

Temari nervously shifted her weight. "I don't know how to say this… I'm leaving this team."

Daiki's mouth dropped open. "I beg your pardon?"

"Are you guys so retarded that I have to repeat everything? I've got to leave this team because my psychopathic father-"

"Kazekage-sama," Aina corrected out of habit.

"Fine! Because Kazekage-sama has decided that Gaara needs a team. And because I'm less likely to get killed, I get the honour of being on it!"

"Nasty," Aina said. Daiki nodded.

None of them felt like doing anything. They sat on the bench in an awkward silence. Aina fiddled with her Jonin vest, Daiki dislodged pebbles from the soles of his sandals and Jiro picked his nose. Temari wallowed in her own misery.

When Jiro found nothing in either nostril, he asked, "What will happen to the rest of us?"

Glad to break the silence, Aina said, "I'll only have to train you boys. Unless," she grinned sadistically, "if you really piss me off, I'll put a rookie on this team."

Jiro gulped.

They sat in silence for another half hour. Finally Aina deemed the whole business too pointless. "You boys are dismissed," she said waving them away. They got up and left without a word.

Once they were out of earshot, Aina turned to Temari. "If you have any problems, you can talk to me. I'll be there for you, I promise. You can go now."

Temari nodded and said that she appreciated the offer. But she knew that it was pointless. No amount of talk would change the fact that her little brother was a demon and her father was cold-hearted.

Kankuro sat on the floor of his room amongst his discarded pyjamas. Karasu, his puppet, was propped up against the cupboard opposite him. Its six arms lay on its lap. "Hey Karasu!" he prodded the doll, "What should I do?

"What about becoming a missing-nin? I could do small jobs in the Wave Country, for instance.

"So you don't think that's a good idea… What about seeking refuge at grandmas? I mean mom's mom, not dad's. She hates dad for mom's and Yashamaru's deaths. She wouldn't let him near her house. And she's put up two-hundred or so photos of Yashamaru, so Gaara won't go there either."

But puppets don't answer.

Kankuro slipped on his black gloves. Wanting at least his puppet to agree with him, he attached the chakra strings.

With a loud crash, the door flew open. "Gaara!" Kankuro gasped.

"You slacker! You better have good excuse this time, we waited two hours for you!" his sensei shouted.

"Wow," Kankuro thought, "Didn't think that he'd dare break an entry!" He was relieved. Even when angry, his sensei was much easier to deal with than his brother. Grinning stupidly, he turned to his sensei. "Does that I'm not coming again count?"

"What?!"

"Basically, I'm being stuck in a team with my bitchy sister," Kankuro lowered his voice because there was no telling where Gaara was, "And my demonic little brother. It would be nice if you would attend my upcoming funeral."

"So I'm not needed and should get lost?"

"Exactly."

"Fine. But here is some advice. First, talking to puppets is considered a sign of insanity. Secondly, be a man and face it." The sensei left as quickly as he'd come.

"Shit!" Kankuro pounded his fist against the floor.

Temari wandered aimlessly round Suna for several hours. Every so often she would scold some little kid who had spat their chewing gum on the ground. When the sun went down and the biting cold crept over the desert town, she decided to go home.

She unlocked the front door and stepped inside. The house seemed empty, but Karasu's clicking showed that Kankuro was home. Not bothering to greet him, she went into the kitchen for a drink. Once there, she grimaced at the corpse on the floor.

"Kankuro," she yelled, "Why haven't you dealt with the body in the kitchen?"

"I didn't know there was one!" His shouted back, "I haven't left my room all day!"

"Not even for the toilet?"

"No!"

Temari pulled a face and went to the telephone. She picked up the receiver, dialling the number of the funeral directory. She needed it so often that she knew it off by heart.

"Yes, it's the Kazekage's house again. Another corpse."

"No, I don't know its identity. Ask Kazekage-sama in his office hours."

"Yes, he'll foot the bill."

Temari dropped the receiver on the hook. She hated those phone calls.

"So you're finally getting rid of the body? Good, I've been tripping over it all day," Gaara said.

Sweat drops formed on Temari's face. She wished that he wouldn't appear behind her without warning. Forcing a smile, she turned round and greeted him.

He stalked off without answering. She leaned against the wall and breathed a sigh of relief.

It was late when the Kazekage came home. Temari noticed him first, because she was in the hall. He marched right up to Gaara, who was sprawled on the couch, reading a magazine. Gaara yelped as his father jerked it out of his hands. Hearing their little brother, Temari peeked out of the hallway and Kankuro pushed his bedroom door open a crack.

The Kazekage glared at Gaara and asked with hatred, "How did the test go?"

"I didn't go," Gaara's voice was icy.

Kankuro grinned and even Temari smiled a little. As Gaara hadn't attended the test, he wasn't a ninja. And only ninjas need teams.

"Your sensei told me that," the Kazekage said, reaching into his kunai pouch. "They're going to fight again," Kankuro thought. He slammed his door shut and locked it. Temari ducked back into the hall.

The Kazekage threw something at Gaara, but the sand blocked it with ease. A tendril of sand shot towards the Kazekage. He leapt out of the way. The sand continued past him, blasting a hole in the living room wall.

"Pick it up," the Kazekage snarled.

Gaara dangled his hand over the side of the couch and felt for the object. He picked up a blue strip of cloth. Temari recognised it instantly.

Gaara said, "I didn't take the test. Why do I get a headband?"

"Because your sensei wants rid of you," the Kazekage said, "Just like everybody else."

Gaara glared at his father but didn't say anything.

"You will meet your new sensei in front of this house, tomorrow at 7 am sharp. Don't kill him."

The Kazekage left. It was one of those nights when it was a lot safer for him to sleep in his office.

Temari hugged her knees. She knew that Kankuro was quietly celebrating being able to stay with his team. She didn't look forward to breaking the news to him. But 7 am sharp it was, and nothing could change that.


End file.
